Feedback Techniques

When I first asked my team for feedback, the room went SILENT. Why? Because speaking the truth felt too risky. This isn’t just my story, it’s the reality in countless workplaces. Here’s the truth: feedback is a minefield. 🔴 Done wrong? It breeds tension and mistrust. 🟢 Done right? It fixes problems—it transforms teams. Here’s how to get it right: 1/ Timing Is Everything ↳ Feedback during chaos? Disaster. Wait for a calm moment. ↳ A private 1-on-1 works best. 💡 Pro Tip: Start with a positive comment—it sets the tone. 2/ Lead With Solutions ↳ Complaints without fixes = noise. Solutions = action. ↳ Try this: “We could avoid confusion with more clarity upfront. What do you think?” 💡 Pro Tip: Frame solutions as support for the team’s success, not criticism. 3/ Be Clear, Not Cryptic ↳ Instead of “Communication could be better,” say: ↳ “Inconsistent updates slow me down. Weekly check-ins might help.” 💡 Pro Tip: Use examples to back it up—clarity builds trust. 4/ Use “I” Instead of “You” ↳ Feedback isn’t a blame game. Stick to “I” statements to share your perspective. ↳ Example: “I feel I don’t have enough autonomy to contribute fully.” 💡 Pro Tip: Highlight how solving the issue benefits the whole team. 5/ Know When to Let It Go ↳ Pick your battles. Save your energy for what really matters. ↳ Does this impact the team or my work? If not, let it go. 💡 Pro Tip: Focus feedback on what aligns with team goals. 6/ End With a Vision ↳ Great feedback doesn’t just fix problems—it builds something better. ↳ Paint the big picture: “Here’s how this change could help the team hit the next level.” 💡 Pro Tip: Vision-driven feedback inspires action. The takeaway? Feedback isn’t about proving you’re right, it’s about progress. Master these steps, and you’ll not only solve problems, but you’ll also earn respect and trust. What’s your biggest feedback fail (or win)? Share it below. 👇 ♻️ Repost to help your network get better! ➕ And follow Shulin Lee for more.

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)

Q. Is a "feedback sandwich" still a best practice? (a word of praise followed by constructive feedback, then more praise)? A. No. When a "feedback sandwich" is effective it's not because of the "sandwich" format. It's because there is already enough trust established between the manager and the employee that the employee can accept the manager's suggestions easily - meaning the "sandwich" wasn't even necessary. The reason so much managerial feedback is badly received by employees is not because of the way it's delivered. It's because the relationship between the manager and the employee isn't strong enough. We easily accept feedback from people we trust - like a family member or good friend. A manager can establish that level of trust by being someone employees look up to and respect. It takes time to build trust but it's absolutely worth it. When your teammates trust and respect you, it's because you trust and respect them too. When you reach that point, they'll not only listen to your feedback, they'll ask for it. For years managers have been taught that certain words or phrases or techniques like the "feedback sandwich" will help their feedback be better received, but this is bad advice. It goes counter to everything we know about people. If the reason you're able to give feedback is because you're the manager and they are not - an unequal power relationship - your feedback is not likely to do any good. It can easily damage your relationships even further. Trust is the key. Someone has a PTO request? Make it your highest priority to approve it. Someone needs you to look at a document? Do it as quickly as you can. There's no mystery about how to build trust on your team. The problem is that in many organizations they don't talk about this topic. They don't give it much importance. They assume that being a manager is enough. You're the manager, so employees must listen to you. But it's not true. If there's too little trust, your feedback will feel like a threat. With trust in the mix, you'll address anything that needs to be shared in the moment, like this: YOU: Sandy, what was the story with that Acme Explosives thing? SANDY: Oh, they have a new Receiving person who didn't see the Priority code on the bill of lading. We got it straightened out. YOU: Great, thanks. Somebody at Acme was hot about it. Leo, I think? He called me. I talked him down but he wasn't thrilled. SANDY: He's the Receiving manager. Thanks for talking to him. YOU: What can we do when that kind of thing happens, to avoid a small problem blowing up? SANDY: I got too worked up. I was trying to help the new Receiving guy but I guess he was nervous about making a mistake, so he was defensive and I was too harsh. That's my bad. Sorry about that. YOU: Okay, no problem, do I need to do anything else? SANDY: No, I'll shoot Leo an email and copy you in. I know what to say. YOU: Tremendous, thanks!

One insecure leader can ruin a high trust workplace. You think psychological safety means honest feedback. They experience feedback as a threat to their self-image. You raise concerns to protect the work. They hear criticism and feel exposed. Insecure leaders need to be seen as competent, liked, and unquestioned. They tolerate openness only as long as it reinforces their ideal image. The moment feedback disrupts that image, safety collapses. Trust becomes conditional. Candour becomes risky. People learn to speak carefully, not truthfully. High trust cultures don’t usually fall apart through discomfort or even conflict. They unravel when one leader cannot tolerate reality. Scapegoating begins when the person who speaks frankly becomes the problem. The feedback giver is reframed as negative, difficult, or misaligned. What was once encouraged is suddenly punished. In a workplace governed by a toxic leader, psychological safety is performative. It exists until it’s tested. When you understand that, you stop confusing stated values with lived behaviour. You learn to read when openness is real and when it’s decorative. You protect relationships without sacrificing your judgment. That’s where discernment becomes authority. 📫 If you’ve watched a healthy culture deteriorate under insecure or toxic leadership, you’re not imagining it. I help professionals assess trust, influence, and risk accurately so they can stay credible and in control when leadership can’t tolerate feedback. 🔗 How psychologically safe cultures erode under insecure leaders: https://lnkd.in/gKc_9Taq

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

I watched three junior engineers quit in six months. All high potential. All left within weeks of their performance reviews. The first time, I thought it was a personal issue. The second time, a coincidence. The third time, I realized we had a system problem. In each review, their managers gave technically perfect feedback. Detailed. Comprehensive. Zero emotion. Zero connection. They listed every missed metric like a spreadsheet. Code quality percentages. Story points completed. Lines of code. But they never asked: How are YOU doing? What's challenging you? Where do you want to grow? Feedback isn't a transaction. It's a relationship. Those engineers didn't need perfect scores. They needed to feel seen. Now when I coach, I tell them: Numbers describe performance. Conversations build careers.

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

The hardest steps at work... Not to the printer room. Not up the stairs to the office. It's the steps to someone's desk when you need to have that difficult conversation. Want to make those steps easier? Here's what I've learned: 1. Timing is everything ❌ Don't give feedback: - Right before important meetings - When someone is hungry - When emotions are high - In public spaces ✅ Choose moments when: - There's time to talk - Basic needs are met - You're both calm - Privacy is assured 2. The delivery matters Start with: "I'd like to share something, is this a good time?" Then use the magic formula: "When [situation], I noticed [observation], and it made me feel [impact]. Because for me it is very important to [need], Do you think next time we could try this instead... [collaborative request]" 3. Remember ⤵️ - You can't control their reaction - You can only control your delivery (tone of voice and body language matter) - Your feedback might be the awareness they need - Change is their choice, not your responsibility 4. Set the right mindset: - Acknowledge your own imperfection - Be open to their perspective - Listen more than you speak - Focus on growth, not blame 🛑 Most people don't resist feedback. They resist feeling judged. Your role is not to fix them. It's to create a safe space where truth can be spoken and understanding can flourish. 🚧 Because at the end of the day: We're all works in progress, learning and growing together. P.S.: What's your best tip for handling difficult conversations? #Leadership #Communication #PersonalGrowth #WorkplaceCulture #FeedbackCulture

Dear HR, if you are rejecting me in the interview, at least tell me where I can improve. Rejection without feedback feels incomplete. It leaves questions unanswered. Most candidates are not asking for favors. They are asking for clarity. Feedback helps us reflect. It helps us learn. It helps us prepare better next time. A short insight can make a big difference. What skill was missing. What expectation was not met. Not every rejection needs a long explanation. But a small direction matters. Interviews are learning experiences too. Not just selection processes. If feedback is shared, growth becomes possible. And the next interview becomes better. Sometimes, guidance is more valuable than an offer.